Let’s Talk About Stealth: Dating Edition

Those of you who follow my blog will know that I’m single. This is the first time I’ve been single post testosterone and post top-surgery. Thus, not only do I live my life as stealth as possible, I am also just a normal guy to people I meet.

I recently met a woman at one of my work places. We hit it off great, there was chemistry there and we exchanged numbers. We kissed on the first date, but I had not disclosed my status. By the second date, I had made up my mind that if this was going further, I had better disclose now, rather than later.

Basically, at the end of the date, I told her about my transsexualism. She didn’t run away or scream in horror, but she was definitely shocked. She said she had no clue. I apologized (hey, it was my first time disclosing) and told her I would not call her again, giving her an out. If she wanted to see me, she had to make that decision. She hooked her arm in mine as we left and kissed me goodnight.

That was last week. I have not heard from her since, and true to my word, I have not called.

I realize that it was two dates and this was a very good reaction, considering I live in the South East and it can be potentially dangerous to disclose. I’m not going to lie though; there was chemistry there, we had a lot in common and it is a bummer that apparently my transsexualism was enough to outweigh all the rest.

This was not the first time, nor will it be the last that I will be rejected based on my medical condition. While I know that someone else’s thoughts about my body, my character or my life have no true basis on who I am as a person, it is hard not to feel a little down, given this development.

BUT the good news is, an attractive, intelligent, driven young woman found me attractive, kissed me and was willing to go on a few dates with me. Considering how my year has gone in the romance department, I know that I have to count this as a win, even if it didn’t go as far as I wanted it to.

EDIT: She called! The saga continues…

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4 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Stealth: Dating Edition

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  1. My bf begins therapy in TN next week, and we have no one we can talk about this with. I was wondering if you would answer some questions regarding your experiences. Our biggest ones right now are, how long do you need to go to therapy before you can begin hrt and on average how much does it cost, and which pharmacy do you suggest. We live in Ky so I’m sure the prices won’t be the same, but at least similar.

    1. I’ll answer your questions to the best of my ability. Also, if you either scroll through my blog, go to November 2013, or go to the beginning of the “Testosterone” tag, you should be able to read about my experiences not only beginning “T”, but going through the process with my therapist and doctor.

      So, how long you need to be in therapy depends on the therapist. Sorry it’s not more specific, but it’s just kind of how it goes. I’ve known guys who were in for months or a year and then I’ve known guys that went to a few sessions and got their letter.

      I personally use Walgreens, but any pharmacy will do. I’ve only heard frustrations with Walmart, so as long as you steer clear of them, any other pharmacy should be OK. Prices should be similar like you said, but they might vary a little state to state.

      I hope this helps! Feel free to keep asking questions as you need to.

      1. How much were you paying for it before it was covered on your insurance? How long were you in therapy before you got your letter for your prescription? Sorry if this is in your blog, I read as much as I could, but I could only find as far back as you getting your script filled.

      2. I only got my testosterone covered for a short while. Pretty much it’s always been $109-ish every five months for the majority of my transition. I am not currently covered by insurance and I pay out of pocket for all of my medical transition needs.

        No worries about therapy. I didn’t start this blog until getting closer to medical transition. (also, it’s been awhile since I started, so I forget what I did and didn’t post) Basically, I was in therapy for about 8-ish months before getting my “T” letter. Part of this was me, and part of it was my therapist. It differs from person to person and from therapist to therapist. I know that’s vague, but it’s the world that we live in. I hope this helps.

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