And what a year it’s been.
So I’m not great at selfies. Anyways, it shocks me looking at this how light my scars are. Sensation? Not so much. I mean, it’s returned to my pectorals and such, but the nips? Let’s just say I know when it’s cold, but I can’t feel it. I’m not really worried about it; I knew this was a possibility and it wasn’t something I banked on after surgery.
More than anything, I’m surprised how much my life has been affected by this surgery. You always hear how great it is, but at least for me, in the back of my mind it was always more like “Well, it’s good, but that’s how it was supposed to be, so yeah. What’d you expect?”
In no particular order: I’ve jumped off a two-story houseboat, swam (in the shade) without a shirt on, run for the first time (and didn’t hate it), had good posture, taken my shirt off when it was hot, dressed up, worked out, slept without a shirt on, had sex (pre-break-up), reached for things above my head, interviewed for jobs, met my neighbors, met new friends, worked new jobs, hugged people, walked my dog, cooked shirtless, hung out, experienced the seasons and so much more.
This is not to make anyone feel bad about where they are in their transition; it’s to give you hope. It really is the little things. I would never take this decision back for a second. It’s meant way more to me than I think I even realized.
That being said, I’m going to finally post my reveal video here. I’m doing it only because I suffer from an anxiety disorder and I want people to know that it’s OK to feel how you’re going to feel during a reveal. It can be scary for someone like me, even if it’s all you’ve ever wanted.
If I could tell that guy anything one year later it would be this:
Surgery is the best decision you’ve ever made and it has made your life liveable.
People are going to be in and out of your life. It will be good and bad. Some will stay and some won’t. In the end, it’s yourself that you have to lean on. No matter who loves you, likes you, etc. You’re all you’ve got and being who you are is the best thing you can ever be.